Matt’s Tidbits #105 — Baby tidbits!

As some of you may know, I recently became a Dad! It actually was 1 year ago yesterday that my son Michael was born — it really is true what they say — time flies!

I believe baby advice can be a really difficult subject. In my experience, it can very easily cause anxiety, or make one feel guilty/bad about themselves as a parent. Plus, I have found it is really easy to get caught in the trap of comparing your baby to others (especially in terms of their development).

Over the past year, I have kept notes and made several observations about things that worked for me and my baby — but, please take these for what they’re worth — they may work for you, they may not. I share them only so you can learn about some of the things I learned on my journey into parenthood in the hopes that they might be helpful to you.

• Get a changing table that’s high enough that you don’t have to bend over too far — you will be changing lots of diapers, and the strain it puts on your back can cause you a lot of pain!
• Some babies react to baby wipes — even the “sensitive” ones — water & paper towels do a great job
• For diaper cream — look for a tub version and use q-tips — that way you don’t have to wash as much stuff off your fingers (and it’s slightly easier & more sanitary)
• It’s possible for a baby to not pass their hearing screen and still have completely normal hearing — especially if they stayed in the NICU (and had a feeding tube) — they can be congested and the tests have a high false positive rate
• Have enough bottles so you can make it through a good portion of the day/night without having to wash them — 6 was a good number for us
• Pre-fill bottles before you go to sleep — it makes it easier when you have to feed them in the middle of the night
• Babies may not need milk to be warmed (cold might be fine) — this can save you time & effort
• Even before the baby is born, if you are traveling, look up which hospitals are in-network for you (and have good maternal care) — so if your partner gets a kidney stone while pregnant, you know where to go and don’t have to look it up first
• Babies change really fast. It can cause anxiety to think about how they might not do <X> for much longer. I have found it helpful to instead focus on the present moment — they are going to change (and fast) — try to enjoy how they are now and don’t worry about where they’re going — they will get there in their own time
• On long airplane flights, having an airplane-approved car seat and buying a seat for the baby on the plane means you don’t have to hold them for the entire flight
• If you suddenly find you have tons of luggage at an airport, remember that there are usually luggage carts available you can rent!
• Some babies really love ceiling fans
• Surprisingly, some babies really like vacuum cleaners and may fall asleep if you wear them while vacuuming
• Babies really do have different cries and signals for different things — you just have to learn what they are
• It can be hard to figure out what a baby needs. As a software engineer, I like to take an iterative, fail-fast approach — try something, if it doesn’t work, try something else
• Every baby is unique
• Baby bottles don’t have to leak. If yours does, explore your options!
• Some babies really love strings
• If you wear glasses, know that your baby will almost certainly grab them
• Be sensitive to all parents, but especially parents whose baby stayed in the NICU. Every baby is different, everyone has a different experience, and NICU parents may be dealing with feelings of loss over things you take for granted
• Being a parent can be a mental/self-confidence journey — am I good enough to do this, comparing yourself or your baby to others, etc. — this helps no one. Focus on your child — every baby is unique and on their own path
• It’s really crazy how early babies can demonstrate personality and emotion
• Some babies are allergic to dairy. They can be affected even if the Mom consumes it (it can come through in the milk). Soy has a similar protein, so, the nursing partner may have to avoid both if your baby is allergic (many eventually grow out of it)
• There is nothing quite as awful as the cry of a baby in pain (the kind where you need to take them to the emergency room) — it’s a scary, harrowing thing
• The sleep deprivation can be really extreme
• Before your baby is born, try to enjoy the way things are now — things being quiet, having both hands free, being able to do what you want whenever you want to
• There are a TON of baby products out there, you may not need all of them, and definitely not all right away. You won’t need a baby gate on day one, and you can wait a while before buying a high chair
• There are a ton of used marketplaces for baby gear — it can be good for your wallet and the environment to not buy everything new. Check manufacturing dates though, and, for some things, like critical safety equipment (car seats, cribs, etc.) it may make sense to buy new because then you know the history
• You can register to receive general product recall alerts from the government (CPSC) — they happen frequently for baby products
• There may be days where you are taking care of your baby at 3pm, blink, and then realize it’s 9pm, you haven’t eaten or showered yet that day, and you are exhausted. This is normal.
• The nature of clogged ducts is not like a blockage, but rather inflammation. Squeezing/massaging may only make the swelling worse. Sleep, hydration, and ibuprofen are sometimes the most helpful things you can do
• It’s somewhat common for babies to have a little bit of a flat spot on their head, especially if they were in the NICU. Helmets can be highly effective up to a year of age (when their heads are growing the most rapidly and still becoming firm)
• Baby food can turn into a glue-like substance amazingly quickly — I’ve found *trying to clean it up earlier can make that a little easier. (*babies are very messy eaters, so good luck keeping things clean!)

I hope you learned something helpful (or at least interesting), and, if you ever want to ask about my experience as a parent, feel free to reach out!